Saturday, April 22, 2017

Nigeria and its rape culture






Nigeria has a rape culture said my friend Ese, this was on a day we were discussing about lecturers having sex with female students for grades and why they refuse to speak out( story for another day)
Few weeks ago I got into a facebook drama with a friend because she posted a status about women and abuse and how our daughters should be taught properly on how to behave. I got pissed and replied that this is one of the reasons abuse will continue to thrive in our homes. Its always the fault of the woman, she needs to be of a gentle and quiet spirit, submissive, leave the marriage if it doesn’t work, the woman just has a burden to know, learn and apply. So I asked what about the men?

Sunday, April 9, 2017

HOW TO BE AFRICAN



To be a typical African is pretty easy. It involves an easy-to-do, practical guide which I will help you with. So this is how to be African – 

First, be born black. Now you have no say in this matter, it is totally a handiwork of nature. But before you cradled into the continent, do ask for enough melanin to withstand the heat and dryness. I don’t know how you would ask, but ask all the same.

Secondly, when you finally arrive the hot and arid location; when you become aware of yourself, of your people, and of your culture; when you have learnt of your colonial masters with tanned skins of yellowish-brown and feathery moustaches, learn to grovel. Just grovel at the presence of the whites. Be fascinated by their color and accents. Never see them as humans; uphold them gods. You know why? Because they are superior. Their skin color gives them that edge. So please them, at your own expense and at the expense of your black brothers.

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

I wanted the girls to like me (Part Two )







The next day, immediately after afternoon prep, I was at the registration stand to sign up for the next set of 800 meters juniorboys’ race tryouts. I was to represent Peace House. Each house had two (2) representatives. That is eight (8) athletes in all. Ilooked at members of my house from my lane on the race lines- both boys and girls that had begun to assemble, including members of other houses. A smile crossed my face, I knew in just a short while; they’d all know and be screaming my name in excitement and admiration; falling over each other as to who would buy me biscuit and ice cream for my fantastic performance! The official called us to order: ‘On your marks!’ Something inside was trying to get my attention to pull out of therace that I was about to make a big mistake but it was too late. ‘Get set…Go!’We all sprang into it and got running.
Some errors we make in life take a while to get obvious. The one I made that day wasn’t one of those. It was the kind wherein the foolishness of the action is manifested almost immediately.

Sunday, March 26, 2017

I wanted the girls to like me ( Part 1}








FGC Okigwe, Sometime in February 2000.
I was terrible at sports- I still am, but I loved Inter-house sports periods at FGC Okigwe. It was an opportunity for lazy students; like I was, to have others join us in the frivolities of life, without feeling guilty about being unserious. When everybody becomes unserious, unserious becomes serious.
The inter-house sports main event was usually preceded by weeks of tryouts and selection of athletes for the big event. Inter house sports heat periods in school were like sacred moments when miraculous things happened. Both senior and junior students, in the same house, shared emotions of joy and disappointment at their collective wins and losses- paying little attention to their class differences which was so important in a boarding house environment. Spectacularly talented and athletic junior students were temporarily allowed to rub shoulders with senior students from their house who were impressed with their accomplishments and then, most remarkably, on the main Inter- house sports day, even the ugliest of girls became temporarily fine- many thanks to hair gels, application of primary colors for facial make up and other accessories that they lavishly used on such occasions.

Friday, March 24, 2017

Doing is all there is











These days, I have been reminiscing about the movie, Whiplash. Sometimes, I fire up my laptop just to see clips of the movie and what Fletcher said to Neiman.

Oftentimes when I was little, I had pictured the stages of my life in kaleidoscopic mirrors; each phase revealing shiny colors of glamour. I often saw my life as an earth filled with manna and quails – Just eat. Just catch. So it was easy to make the mistake of thinking that talent is enough. And when asked then in secondary school, kitted with my white shirt and grey pants, what was my aspiration, I would quickly reply: “To win the Nobel Prize.” What a Waawu! Lol!

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Photo of the day





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Monday, March 20, 2017

Conjugal tales of Mama Bread







Hysterectomy! I was 15 when I first heard of this term.
 A neighbor was just discharged from the hospital and as she got down from the car the atmosphere was filled with ‘welcome’ and ‘sorry’.
What happened to her? I asked my dad
“She had a hysterectomy” he replied
Meaning?
“Oh! It meant her womb was removed”
I kept quiet for a while before I proceeded to ask why her womb was removed. My father went further to explain that her husband beat her up and she was rushed to the emergency unit, unfortunately, it was either her life or her womb. Eh ya! I muttered trying to grasp the depth of the information l have just been given.

Saturday, March 18, 2017

Battle field of the mind - Book Review







If you struggle with worry and doubt, anger or condemnation, or even depression–this book is for you. The author contends that only by overcoming unhealthy thinking patterns can we be set free and have inner peace. This book continues to be a hot seller on Amazon even though it was published eight years ago.

Friday, March 17, 2017

I JUST GOT MARRIED AND THIS IS MY STORY 2

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Image Source: www.onthewall.com

I was overwhelmed by the number of hotels in Lagos. Every hotel I checked seemed to be lacking something until I checked the next one. In all this, I had written down the criteria for selecting my dream hotel. I wanted a 4-star luxury hotel with fully air conditioned and spacious rooms, a jacuzzi,  TV with satellite reception, swimming pool, a beautiful hallway for pictures, a bar for the guys to hangout, full-length mirrors for my girls to take selfies (winks, we are vain like that), free Wi-Fi internet, just to mention a few.

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

#memoirsoffae - Karma is a Bitch










If you ever lived in the school hostel and you don’t know how to walk in love and let things go easily, I doubt you will ever learn that anywhere else. This is because you encounter loads of people that stretch your patience beyond its elastic limit. I learnt how to snub people in school as well as standing up to bullies. During my final year in school, some girl lived with me for a couple of weeks and mehn!!! I didn’t find it funny. Part of my consolation was that she probably had a rough childhood, suffered rejection or had one of these traumatic experience still I wondered how someone could be so bitter and pitied her boyfriend.

Monday, March 13, 2017

Consent is Sexy






Few days ago, I was privileged to watch the Big Brother Nigeria show for the first time. On this day, they were discussing about sex and consent. This was 3 days after Kemen’s disqualification from the show.
Even though I am not of fan of BBN but for over an hour l was intrigued by the exercise the housemates were made to go through regarding sex and consent.
Questions like have you ever be compelled to have sex with someone? Have you been scared to say no? Have you ever pressured/pressure someone to have sex with you? Have you ever been sexualized, been made sexual references to and objectified? and a couple others were asked. And even though bulk of the housemates answered in the affirmative, it was a time of reflection for me. I saw myself in my mind’s eye answering in the affirmative too.