Saturday, February 28, 2015

It's my BIRTHDAY!!!!




It's my birthday today, February 28th and I'm just overwhelmed with gratitude to God. Its been a year of learning,unlearning and relearning. God has been soooooo gooood and he has answered every tiny thing I asked him.Wow! I'm in a happy place :)...I only came here to request for something...(lol...some people don dey tensh!)


... No I'm not asking for anything  physical, although if una give me I nor go run oh! I'm only asking that for every prayer I have in my heart, you help me say Amen to it. That's what I want! Amen to my prayers. Thanks guys! Mwaaah!



5 worse movies of all time

1. The love Guru
The Love Guru' was one of the worst films to
ever be put out with a mix of brainless comedy that will put you right to sleep. I am sorry if you had to put yourself through 2 hours of this as I did




2. Cat Woman

Friday, February 27, 2015

Becoming wealthy by belly size.

 By Arc. Duru Chimezie

This is a sponsored submission from 360talkatives blog.






DURU CHIMEZIE says there is no hope for the slim in this country, more so when you have a fat belly. While he agrees that it is an entirely different case for the woman fold, he still points out that being exactly fat wasn't a good forward step for them. "Why would you like to have a pot belly even?", that is the question he asks on BANTER WITHOUT DOORS this week.

Have you ever seen a really really fat tummy? I mean, a tummy just too fat that the owner spends over one-third of his 24hours buttoning and re-buttoning his shirt! Have you ever seen such? Like the tummy is in every sense an obstacle? Doubling as a tummy as well as an inhibition? Have you? Terribly big in such a way that you feel genuinely hurt in the heart by mere seeing it? Nice. That is what we are going to talk about today. The big fat belly, and the many postulations about it.

If you are slim, I pity you. Then if you so slim that everybody who sees your belly calls it flat, then you might as well choose a distant planet for vacation! My reason is simply; our part of the world has no place for slim ‘attractive’ people. For all the seeming love-in for runway models and beauty queens, only but a handful of men actually love having slender girls as partners. Now, we are not saying they all prefer fat girls. Not really. Rather, they simply want their girls to have some ‘reasonable meat’. Simply put, not exactly slim but far from fat! But then, if you were a guy and were slim; what about that? Even if we could choose to pretend like we don’t care about the preferences of the ladies and what stature of men they fancy most, the preferences of the men on who they accept as ‘real men’ still would count massively! In short, woe befalls you if fellow men called you slim, slender, thin….anything not-fat.

And why would I say that? Well, begin with asking the question fully: “why would I say that when I am actually more like the slim than the fat?” And the answer is, because it is true! Being slim (or slender if you want to make it a bit more respectful to the ear), in our part of the world is a hanging (invisible) disability. Disability because everyone either thinks you don’t eat enough, or you ain’t grown up enough or specifically you are just not human enough! Period! What the western world thinks about it, matters so little here as long as they are concerned. In fact, while being slick (another decoration for slim/thin) is more of a way of life over there, with a lot being put in clothing-lines (skinny jeans, etc), music and entertainment just to see that more and more people desire to remain or become slim, over here, gaining a 6pack work-out accolade is one of every teenager’s 30things-I’d-do-before-I-turn-30.

The irony isn’t even obvious yet! You know what? The issue isn’t exactly how thin you look or how your perpetual cloth preference is usually always Xtra-Xtra-Small. Not really. Even though it looks like it is, considering what you hear them say and refer to. The real issue, is the size of the belly! If you were small, kinda or let’s just say slim, but yet had the tummy of a near-delivery pregnant woman, nobody would call you slim indeed! I fact, most of the emphasis will be about ‘how big you’ve been growing these days’. Totally absurd! So ain’t the craze and infatuation, all about the size of the belly?! And isn’t the irony even more complex when you consider that our fathers and older folks, are doing a lot with their lives, to see that their bellies are reduced as they are causing more harm than good while on the other hand, our young men are taking pride in the big silly thing? Of course it is!

Since it is already clear the whole big belly love-in is coming and found amongst the men fold, can we now ask, what exactly does the big belly do for you? What contribution do you find so endearing and profiting to begin to wish and desire to have a belly that would always obstruct you from kissing your wife when you get married? What is the moral of having a thing that will always want to break up your shirt buttons? The answers have been rather ridiculous. Most have preferred it simply because of the seeming respect it gives. I have already explained earlier that in our world over here, you are considered more relevant if you had a hanging belly. And some have coveted it because of how non-slim it would make them look. But then, the more ridiculous of the lot, desire a big fat belly because it would make them appear wealthy. Ridiculous in all senses, quite!

So going by our rich-happy hanging-tummy-desiring friends, I should/will call/perceive/think of a bus pauper of net-value, a mighty $100, to be the same as $375,000-a-week earning Baseball player as long as he had a fat tummy. Ridiculous in all senses, quite! And if I made any mistakes of looking at somebody like Kanu Nwankwo, whose last weekly wage was almost a £100,000, I should call him a pauper simply because he has a near-non-existent belly. Ridiculous in all senses, quite! Big belly does not a wealthy man make! (Big belly does not make a wealthy man, in case you need the correct arrangement).

Your desire to own a big belly is a fundamental right of yours. But what fundamental rights don’t do, is stopping the repercussion of what fundamental rights earned you. A fat belly (mostly on males), is simply a product of accumulated fat and tissue (I’m no med guy but I made a B1 in Biology). Fat as we know it, is a high risk for heart disorders and increased blood pressure! A fat belly is equally a container for amassed sugar. No surprise that alcohol is the fastest means of achieving the highly desired belly bigness. So you’ve heard it, the more alcohol you take, the more the increase.

Fundamentally, there are more salient reasons why I would think somebody to be reasonable, attractive, handsome, human-enough, intelligent, responsible and more importantly, wealthy/comfortable. And, having a big fat belly, isn’t one of those. Big belly does not a wealthy man make! See you fells next week!


You can read more articles like this from Duru Chimezie, on 360talkatives by clicking here.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

How to spot Bush People.







That is how some people will just stay o and start playing  music from their kpako phone for all to hear. Who told them we want to listen to the screeching noise from that China phone gaan???

When they are in public and their phones ring, they just keep shouting information into the mouth piece. Please keep your voices low. Its irritating when people scream about their business. Plain BUSH!

When they are in a place that should be quiet e.g Church or class room, they will intentionally forget to put their ever kpaako phones on the silent mode. Obviously, they want us to realize that they have one toy phone that can play doro bucci.Arrrrrant bushness!

Somebody tell me why someone would plug in earphones into the church, I mean earplugs for phones. Haba, how do you intend to hear what the Preacher said? If I guess right he is obviously preaching that pride goes before a fall. For pete's sake, we do not need to know if your phone has earphones or if you can afford Bluetooth. Its very RAZZ and BUSH!

Whats this new bush way of wearing sunglasses when its not sunny??? Or wearing them inside a house? in church? Like I read somewhere, it only makes sense if you are either blind, a celebrity (e.g Ryan Goseling) or just simply retarded! They are called SUNshades for a reason!


Because u saw P.Diddy and Rick Ross  Blinging and you want to wear abeg- I-must-bling-chain-f
rom-Onitsha-market If you cant afford the real one, just take d load off ya neck and stick to carved wooden chains and bracelets from Iya Shina in Osun.

Ok. Look, if you are a guy and your hair is woven, stop it. Unless you are gay, you have a really handsome face, or your braids are tight. Dont try to be Shemar Moore or Uti Nwachukwu; you will only end up looking like an agbero version of African China! Same goes for dreads.If you want one, dont DIY. Its meant to be D-R-E-A-D-S not D-A-D-A! Raskimonos look is so outdated!

We are in Nigeria, Africa! Why do some people not realize this when they wear winter clothing?? You wear jean jacket over a shirt in this hot weather! Cmon! Dont wear layers of clothes. It doesnt make you look like u just came from Jand, makes you look very very BUSH!

Women, why cant u ever figure out the right shade of foundation/powder for your face??? Believe me, going a shade lighter won't make u look fresh like half caste. You end up looking like willie willie,Coat of many colours. Its just wrong. Find your colour.  Your friends/mother/sisters colour is not your colour. Again, women! If you are going to wear spaghetti tops or anything that will expose your arms. Please, Please Please, shave your arm pits. Its unsexy and very rude! Imagine Stretching and everyone can see your afro kinky from your pits.eeew! Tres Bush!

If you are wearing perfume and I can perceive it a mile off, please go and bathe, and scrub your body well with morning fresh! You hear me??? Dont come and choke innocent people with that rat killer spray that u swam in! For those who have managed to cross border just once in their life. I take God beg you, stop bragging! Funny enough the trip was when you were so little that you could hardly spell! Every conversation must not center around that your annoying trip. Who cares????! You just make people roll up their eyes anytime they hear you go when I was in.., B-U-S-H!

For those with confused accents, fluctuating between Ibo, Pidgin , Brtish n American accent, just be real. There is nothing like "shat up" or "surrrsepense"...dont call it beef ooo.Its just BUSH

IF you finish reading this and you find a fault with anything here.your are INDEED uniquely BUSH! LMAO


Tags: Sisi yemmie, british, pidgin, church.

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Monday, February 23, 2015

5 cool ways for ladies to make money in the University.

Have you ever been so  broke you start thinking of robbing a bank or doing something silly? Trust me, I've been there so many times and its not a good place to be. And sometimes for the female folks the pressure is much and your values are being weighed in the balance. So here are cool/decent ways to make money in the university.





1. Ushering.
 Ushering jobs pay quiet well and is something you can do as a student. The pay ranges from five thousand to twenty thousand naira for just one job. Find a good ushering service and join so they can contact you whenever there is a job






2. Modelling.
This can be frustrating especially when you have agencies giving you false hope. The trick is to join a good agency that will supply you with constant jobs  and you'll make some cool cash doing some runway jobs. If you're agency is well connected you can even get major jobs like billboards and tv adverts. They pay for modelling jobs range from 5 thousand to some good millions.





3. Disk Jockey
Yes you can, I have seen many female djs and they're good too. So if you have a flair for music and think you can do it, then do it. You could make small menial cash dj-ing at your colleagues events and work part time in a club.




4. Home Tutor
 Its easier for a boy to organise tutorials in the university but for a girl it might be kinda weird so instead of that, you could tutor little kids in primary and secondary school. This job gives you time for yourself too and keeps your brain active. Print out some posters and paste them
around asking people to contact you if they need a tutor for their kids. The pay ranges from 10k to 30k.







5. Make up artist
This is very lucrative. You could go for weddings, beauty peagent etc. Just be good at what you do and you will make lots of cash even through referrals.

These are just jobs you can do with little or no capital. You could also rent out gowns, or bake pasteries that can be sold through a sales girl.
Hope I helped?


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Sunday, February 22, 2015

Soooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! l have a new boyfriend

Sorry about the misleading heading guys.
A little game I sometimes play is I switch over to the local Christian TV channel and see how long it takes for the preacher of the moment to mix law with grace. Its not a game I enjoy!
The more I appreciate the significance of Jesus sacrifice, the more sensitive I become to those who try and tell me it was not sufficient, that I need to do stuff to stay forgiven/holy/righteous.
Nothing makes my blood boil faster.
Aside the cool demeanor, laughs, silly jokes and occasional mood swings. I'm a very spiritual person. I can confidently boast about Gods love for me because I can't love him enough. For sometime now Creflo Dollar and Joel Osteen ministries have been my obsession and I still love them to a fault. Well, recently I just got hooked to this Singapore pastor that speaks as if he were
from Israel






Yay!!! Joseph Prince. #what a breath of fresh air#

If youve never heard him preach, youre missing out. At the end of each 22 minute segment we (my bro and I)  are usually so inspired we want to leap up and start celebrating Jesus. Mr. Prince is an excellent communicator. He makes deep water revelations simple and easy to grasp. Here are excerpts from some of his messages/books
1. The law justified no one and condemned the best of us, but grace saves even the worst of us.
2. God does not leave you wondering whether you are saved or not. He tells you outright that you are His and that nothing can ever separate you from the love of Christ. Not even sin because His blood is greater than your sin!
3. Even though the law is holy, just and good, it has no power to make you holy, just and good.
5. Sometimes, when I hear the way some preachers preach, I really wonder, has the cross changed anything? The system of being blessed when you do good and being cursed when you
Fail was already in place before Jesus came. Why are they still teaching that we are under that system today? Dont negate the cross of Jesus. The cross of Jesus changed everything.
6. Knowing that you are completely forgiven destroys the power of sin in your life.
7.  Look at all the people who received miracles from Jesus during His ministry on earth. Not a single one of them deserved it. They did nothing to earn their miracles On the other hand, we dont find any record of those who were trying to deserve blessings from God the Pharisees receiving anything from Jesus!.
8. Let me teach you how to discern if the grace teaching that you are hearing is doctrinally sound. When you hear the new covenant of grace preached, it is always Christ-exalting. It always reveals more and more of Jesus There is no grace without Jesus. Grace is not a doctrine. Grace is a person and His name is Jesus. Therefore, there is no grace teaching without
Jesus Christ. You cannot separate Jesus and grace!
 Truth is I'm a cheerful giver. Join me and let's get to understand a new level of grace like you've never known.

Twitter handle @dahliadona. Like our facebook page – Favourmoyseblog.
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Saturday, February 21, 2015

20 random facts about me.







     Tick tock... tick tock... and my bornday is exactly one week from now. Yay!!!# drum rolls#  l really need to stop talking too much but then again y'all should make me your friend o.  Enough said just read this. 
1. I hate berets, it makes my head looks really big.
2. I hate unripe plantain and it’s even worse if cooked with beans as porridge. It just makes me irritable
3. I hate a disorganized room or wardrobe. I can't seem to bring myself to imagine how people navigate easily in such clustered environment.
4. I hate all forms of pity. Don't give it to me and I don't need it either.
5. I'd rather wash the dishes and cook than vacuum or mop the floor.
6. I love my brother, he reminds me so much of my mom.
7. My friend’s mom is my biological clock official ringtone.
8. I wish I was Kyle XY
9. I love Joseph Prince to a fault.
10. I hate high heels. I don't care what Steve Harvey has to say about it.
11. I talk to myself.
12. Bread is my favorite food.
13. I eat and dance when I'm sad
14. Call me stupid but I do believe in horoscopes. I'm Pisces and it shows clearly.
15. Water is my favorite drink ever. Im a cheap date.
16. I love saving. It’s one of my greatest assets.
17.  I'm an introvert extrovert. Doesn't sound right, does it? Well, that's me. I can spend days even weeks cooped up in my room doing God knows what. But I have an active Social Media life e.g. I've got you, my Blogger friends, facebook friends, the weirdest people on Twitter etc. So I'm always smiling at my phone.
18. God loves me. I would have said I love him but then that's not enough.
19. I'm a hopeless romantic but I'm always denying it.
20. I've got a bad history with chemistry.
21. Crime based TV shows and series intrigue me. Same with novels. Forget about chick flicks they are almost never in my collection.
22. I had this huge crush on Wentworth Miller until I discovered he was gay. #sad eyes#.
23. I praticed not being attached to people, makes it hurt less when they leave.
Phew!!! Its meant to be 20 rite?

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Friday, February 20, 2015

PLEASE CAN WE STOP THESE MANY THINGS?

By Arc. Duru Chimezie



This is a sponsored submission from 360talkatives blog.

Out of a rather difficult schedule Banter Without Doors comes to you with a list of many things we should stop doing.






It is a very noisy afternoon here (it could be morning wherever you are though and of course less noisy) and I have my hands placed on my warm plastic keyboard. Hoping to type something, but yet to do so. Willing to produce an amazing banter like always but devoid of what exactly to type or where to begin even. Wouldn't know if the entire pressure from work, in this present week is really getting to me. In fact, I am at the reception of a hotel waiting for a project meeting of fellow architects, an engineer and a quantity surveyor to begin. Barely 30 minutes away from the meeting, the idea of choosing to use the little time between now and the meeting, to get this done, explains how tight my schedule has been lately.

Anyways, schedule or no schedule, I would do a Banter of the Week, wouldn't I? After all, you are never responsible for urging me to do weekly Banters, right? So I obviously placed the yoke on myself and just have to bear the cup alone, right? Well...wrong! But....I am going to do the banter even though I don't know what exactly to do. Or do I? Yea, I think I suddenly do. I mean, why can't we just talk about things we should stop doing? As in, there are over a billion things you do each day, which you shouldn't be doing. I am not referring to stuffs like, talking while eating, etc. Not exactly. Even though Banter Without Doors would really love you to stop talking while eating. But, I am actually referring to those things we do, which we never knew we shouldn't be doing. Now, let's get on the ride.

So the first thing on my list of what we need to stop doing is...making our android phones sound like Blackberries! I agree there has been a lot of envy and jealousy behind the use of android when actually you dreamt all your life to own a blackberry. I know that despite how superior android appears to blackberries currently (judging by market share, preference and coverage), some people still pride themselves in being associated with anything blackberry. But what's the point? What's the point of owning an android phone and then keep making us all think it's blackberry while still being android? Remain Blackberry if you love blackberry or remain android if you love android. Tying yourself up on some high prison fence wouldn't do any good. So can we just stop using blackberry tones and sound notes for our whatsapp messages, text messages, everything?!! In fact, can we just change the notification sound on our bb messenger (for android) to some other thing? Maybe a cat mew, or a goat bleat, in fact anything! Can we?

Conductors are another point here. I refer to conductors who 'conduct' passengers who board intra-state buses. Can we just stop something about them? I don't ever think there is anyone of us who does not always undervalue and if possible, affront the bus conductor. To us, he is possibly the cheapest man on the street. And probably, the most useless. The conductor to many, must be that tout at the motor park, who totally only deserves to be in a cell or prison. We easily equate them to having a huge tendency to cheat us when we pay our bus fares. We feel to pour insults and verbal garbage at them, simply because they are bus conductors. Now can we just remember that these guys are human, and are sons to mothers and fathers somewhere? Can we just stop feeling we are perpetually superior and good for something while they are good for nothings? Can we?

Bankers are on the fly. Getting into the bank gives you an initial feel of visiting the land of immortals. Everybody appears overly smart-looking and lost in their own world! Willing to ignore you for another costumer at any given moment and when they wish to advice you on what you need to do towards a problem, they make it sound like they are actually schooling a moron. But why? Ain't they your average guys and ladies who only just got decent paying jobs, anymore? What then warrants the need for that sense of immortality? Can bankers just attempt coming back to earth? Can they just stop being spirits? Can they?

A celebrity I assume, is anybody who has become so popular that he or she is endlessly celebrated. And then a model is a celebrity only after she becomes as popular and celebrated as a celebrity. However, for a model who comes so close to becoming a celebrity only for her to lose it at the end, what's the need for her to become fake? I want to believe that everybody does watch the TV. And that we all have seen beauty pageant contests with all the participating models being asked to get to the podium so that the eventual winner(s) can be announced right before them. Now what irks my goat, is what follows right after. You'd observe that as soon as the winner is announced, all the other participating contestants who are equally standing on the podium, begin to grin and smile. (what??????!!!!) So, how can?! You only just lost!! And goodness knows that you'd be really very heavy with tears within, and if possible, envy! But instead you pretend and smile to all of us, while the winner collects her crown and 'banner' (wouldn't know what else to call it). Please can you models stop the deception? Can you please begin showing us your real feelings when you lose? Can you?

Lastly, I thought about theft. Basically, laptop theft. After all, doing a banter each week wouldn't be possible if I didn't own laptops I could use. But then, what is the best measure for controlling laptop theft? I have heard so many suggestions like, not carrying it around at night, setting up a password or when possible, installing a tracker on it. While those suggestions sound quite good, they are only just short term remedies. However after comparing the frequency of theft in cases when the laptop owner is a male and cases when it is a female, I came down to a conclusion - handbags! Ladies who own laptops these days, carry them in big fat handbags. These handbags are so deep that they can take two or more of them yet appear like your average handbag. This had led to an increased safety of the female laptop. So...why can't everybody do same? I mean, can we the guys just stop using any other bags? Can we please begin using the handbag? Can we?


The questions have been rhetoric but hoping for a reply. I will find you guys next week!



You can read more articles like this from Duru Chimezie, on 360talkatives by clicking here.

Banter without doors is a sponsored article that comes up every fridays. Don't miss it for anything in the world.



Your comments are like butter to my bread.. Pleeeaaassssseeee don't starve me!!! Follow us on twiter HERE like our page on facebook HERE Share this post to your friends, families.enemies infact everyone. FMB loves you.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Ten things you should never say to a single lady.




Everyone is getting married except me and my friend. Though, we plan kidnapping an Arab Christian whose heart we would demand for a ransom. Few days ago, I bumped into a friend I haven't seen in eons. Imagine my shock after the whole exchange of pleasantries when he took my left hand and started examining it. My reply was " you loss something" then he asked "were's the ring?". Then I gave him the un-patronising and totally welcome look.

Its exhausting when people ask you questions about your relationship. I get palpitations followed by anxiety then probably laugh or frown or do whatever pops into my head at the moment. Single ladies should NEVER be asked these questions EVER!!! even on your death bed don't ( tongue in cheek).

1. "So how's the love life".
So simple and yet SO irritating. Trust me, when my life is full of the joys of a new man, I will be shouting it from the rooftops

2. "You are just too picky".
Well if picky is having resorted to being open to going on a date with pretty much every male in a 50 mile radius apart from my brother and my dad, then yeah. I guess I am.

3."Don't worry about it! It'll happen when you least expect it".
And when exactly?

4. "What happened to... what was his name"
Nice attempt.
We actually fell madly in love and got married, sorry you weren't invited. I am currently in my fifth month of pregnancy and picking out the good schools for little Bella. What do you think?

5. "You just need to start dating again".
Because men are like buses and if I date one, three will come along at once? While I appreciate the sentiment that I force myself on dates I don't want to be on in the hope that will somehow restore some secret trick I've been missing, I'll pass.

6. "At least you are saving some money"
Trust me, the money I am saving on romantic dinners and birthday presents I am spending in wine and  internet  subscription.

7. "I can totally be your wingwoman"
Ah, that's really nice that you are offering up your services to me. It makes me feel like a lame little lobster that is unable to find a mate for life on its own.

8. "Haha! I wish I was single again!"
When you laugh at my stories of yet another failed date or another weirdo I saw on instagram, that is a very definite sign you do NOT wish you were single again. But is a very definite sign that you are laughing at my misery. At least someone is.

9. There's plenty more fish in the sea.
What if I like the fish I used to have?

10. Just go on holiday on your own!"
SRSLY?

I said ten rite?



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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

If I should have a daughter.







If I should have a daughter, instead of "Mom," she's gonna call me "Point B," because that way she knows that no matter what happens, at least she can always find her way to me. And I'm going to paint solar systems on the backs of her hands so she has to learn the entire universe before she can say, "Oh, I know that like the back of my hand."
And she's going to learn that this life will hit you hard in the face, wait for you to get back up just so it can kick you in the stomach. But getting the wind knocked out of you is the only way to remind your lungs how much they like the
taste of air. There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by Band-Aids or analgesics.

 So the first time she realizes that Wonder Woman isn't coming, I'll make sure she knows she doesn't have to wear the cape all by herself because no matter how wide you stretch your fingers, your hands will always be too small to catch all the pain you want to heal.
Believe me, I've tried. "And, baby," I'll tell her, don't keep your nose up in the air like that. I know that trick; I've done it a million times. You're just smelling for smoke so you can follow the trail back to a burning house, so you can
find the boy who lost everything in the fire to see if you can save him. Or else find the boy who lit the fire in the first place, to see if you can change him." But I know she will anyway, so instead I'll always keep an extra supply of chocolate and rain boots nearby, because there is no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix. Okay, there's a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix. But that's what the rain boots are for, because rain will wash away everything, if you let it. I want her to look at the world through the underside of a glass-bottom boat, to look through a microscope at the galaxies that exist on the pinpoint of a
human mind, because that's the way my mom taught me.

That there'll be days like this.
  There'll be days like this, my momma said. When you open your hands to catch and wind up with only blisters and bruises; when you step out of the phone booth and try to fly and the very people you want to save are the ones standing on your cape; when your boots will fill with rain, and you'll be up to your knees in disappointment. And those are the very days you have all the more reason to say thank you. Because there's
nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it's sent away. You will put the wind in winsome, lose some.

You will put the star in starting over, and over. And no matter how many land mines erupt in a minute, be sure your mind lands on the beauty of this funny place called life. And yes, on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am pretty damn naive. But I want her to know that this world
is made out of sugar. It can crumble so easily, but don't be afraid to stick your tongue out and taste it. "Baby," I'll tell her, "remember, your momma is a worrier, and your poppa is a warrior, and you are the girl with small hands and big eyes who never stops asking for more." Remember that
good things come in threes and so do bad things. And always apologize when you've done something wrong, but don't you ever apologize for the way your eyes refuse to stop shining. Your voice is small, but don't ever stop singing. And when they finally hand you heartache, when
they slip war and hatred under your door and offer you handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, you tell them that they really ought to meet your mother.

Tags; Sarah Kay, Tedx, FMB,wonder woman,chocolate.


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Sunday, February 15, 2015

For when you seek life's purpose




For we worshipped at the altar of curiousity
and we bled in the battle fields of questioning.
We had gained the answers which we thought we sought,
and we believed ourselves the wiser.
Our young minds had been eager for the knowledge,
but ripe for its consequences they were not.
We read a variety of musings,
we mused on diverse ideologies.
We learned more than we knew what to do with;
And in the face of this, our resolve to live crumbled.
Veterans of depression did we become,
we that thought of abstract things too early in life.
Slowly, then as hollow shells did we remain undone
Failing to see a point to all of its strife
Many are we that have danced this macabre dance,
that have swayed to the weird tunes of its minstrel.
As the reward for our travails we acquired this:
the assurance of being sure of nothing.
Weak then as we were, we began to lose hope
In everything that was.
We covered up our despair with smiles and nonchalance.
We pursued our various escapisms.
Many are we who have trudged this lonely path,
Who have sailed these hapless straits.


Before we go on I should say that an assumption made in this article is that anyone reading it has come to terms with the fact that bad things happen in life. People cheat and steal. Murders occur. Betrayals are common place. The world will be the world.


It is also to be said that here is not where we ponder the phantasmic concept called World Peace. According to Christian lore there was war even in heaven: a place that was home to beings of perfect thought. How much more an earth which is filled to every nook and corner with imperfect and impressionable men.


----


Seeking purpose is overrated.


"Been there, done that..."
"There is little that can surprise or entice any more..."
"What's the point? We're all going to die anyway..."


Have you ever had cause to think in the lines of the above? Have you ever had a nagging feeling of emptiness, world weariness, or lack of purpose? You might have, or you might not. Either way, be assured that you are not alone. It is of some comfort to a man for him to realise that his afflication is not as rare as he might have feared.


This piece is not going to be flowery; I'll just try to say it as it is. Let's leave the overly philosophical thought to the scholars.


Now, let us imagine this: that when a baby is born and left to its own devices, it does no more than what is its first instinct to do, which is to survive and thrive.


The baby does this without scruples; taking what it wants how it wants it, whenever it can. It's a blissful state of lack of conscience.


All of a sudden, the baby; that bundle of cuteness whose eyes radiate innocence and wonder, whose head is full of love and face is full of milk, whose bottom smells of freshly applied powder and whose toothless gummy smiles do not fail to melt your heart, begins to grow up.


Based on its surroundings, it begins to develop a set of beliefs.

Based on its beliefs, it develops a set of values.

Based on those values it fashions out a persona

***I will safely assume we all understand that I mean "sorroundings" to be everything from the baby's personal experiences, to people who have an influence on it, down to any form of instruction that it receives, whether educational or religious, self taught or mentored. Cool? Cool***


Along with the formation of a persona comes the worst thing imaginable to ruin the bliss of the child's naive state. It's impressionable mind is influenced by an all too familiar thing.


Ego

The child develops an ego...

***Okay, here i'm supposed to do some psychoanalytic pantsing... Where I then talk about the link between the mind's conscious and external states... or start rapping about the sense of importance which an individual derives from its own being in relation to others, and in relation to some other components within itself, comprising the id and the superego... but guys abeg, no time. Una fit google am***


Among other things, given the present realities, your ego makes you believe that you have to fashion out your profoundly great and unique purpose. It makes you believe that you're something special, or that you're irreplaceable, or that you're the next best thing since purewater.


***I would have said 'since sliced bread', but let's be real here... Which would you rather prefer to have on a hot afternoon?***


It is always a good thing if a person has a healthy balance of common sense to go with their ego, where he knows that the statement "you can be anything you want to be" does not translate to "you can be good at everything at once"


The above exhortation simply means that, having seen the many things achievable that obtain, you have to choose what it is you want to be good at and then strive for perfection in what you've chosen.


Even the gods are each ascribed particular endeavours which they have become the very personification of, due to their perfection in them. I'd like to see Shango attempt to speak to Ogun about the best process for smelting iron. I'd like to see Ares hold a spear to Bacchus in the precise evaluation of the specific breed of a pinot noir.


That being said, the plain truth is that the purpose of life is simply to live it.


There is no "ultimate destiny" which you actively and consciously have to search for or find. Life will bring it to you!


Your every day spent living will reveal your purpose to you. You don't have to go looking for some profound or esoteric ideal. It will all come to smack you in the face.


My "Bumbaclaat!" friend will call it inspiration.

"...Airea man! Ganjahweed for we... Bonfire, bonfire, ablaze!"

***watches as he fires up some crisp leaves wrapped in rizla and takes a puff***

*cough* *cough* ...High grade


The circumstances you experience in life will shape you. The many hardships that you undergo as well. Everything will work out how it was supposed to ab initio, preparing you for that purpose which is yours. The only thing that behoves of you is to keep yourself available to receive this purpose in line with the tenets of your beliefs.


This is where it gets tricky; because you have to guide what it is you choose to believe in.


I have less hope for people who are unresolved in their pursuit of enlightenment than I do for those who are solidly on one side of the divide of good or evil. A being that is waxed strong on the side of evil in full awareness already knows what is coming for it and has accepted its fate. It revels in the choice it has made... it revels in it; down to the ignominous, sticky end.


But is there such a thing as being who is not of perfect thought being "too far gone" or "irredeemable"? I don't think so.


The thing is that change is a scary concept for most. We often prefer the familiar, what we are used to, our comfort zones which in the real sense may not actually be comfortable.


Most times, what people need is a strong reason to make right choices. Proper enlightenment fosters proper intention, and proper action is then made towards that intention... But the world, being the pleasant lady that she is, hardly ever gives reason for a person to do good, basically as a result of the intrinsic selfish human state. However, a wise person knows not to wait for a reason to do good. They just get up and do it.


Which leads me to muse that there is no such thing as "free" will.


I'm not very sure that a slave being able to choose the colour of the koboko with which he is to be flogged makes him any happier when he is lashed, but I'll consider that idea under advisement. You should know that your choices have consequences, good or bad, and that doing questionable things solely because you want to prove that you have the power do them, borders on stupidity.


In fact, its just a slight notch below the phenomenon of PHCN's annoying naira-sucking prepaid meter that brings light at its whim and caprice.


But I digress...


Okay let me back up a little, before some of my religious brethren berate me as concerns the ultimate purpose of eternal life.


If eternal life is what you believe in, then you should predispose yourself to achieve it by being true to the corrrect teachings of your faith, not some selfishly interpreted or intolerant propaganda.


I'm not an atheist, but I'm not overly religious. I can say I'm spiritual. There is a God, and he is a damn brilliant chap. He is up there, sitting down with popcorn and watching all of us in HD.


We are all actors, we all have our scripts, some of us just don't know it yet.


But its a strange kind of movie we're acting... Funnier than Nollywood has been or will ever be. It is a kind of movie where we can decide not to act our God-given script but instead write, tweak, and then act out a script of our own.


And yes, the actors still get paid for their acts. God the executive producer... He's just cool like that.


"...It's my life, I make my own decisions..." one might say. Well, whatever makes you happy. Which leads me to ask: Can you change a person who does not want to change? The answer is no.


Hell no, if I might add


Begs, threats, bribes... Nope. They are all lost on such an individual.


You could give them advice, if they would take it. But note that here I said advice, not a sermon. Giving advice is about a far cry apart from giving a sermon as the sky is far above land and sea.


With regards to people giving them to adults, I despise sermons. As a matter of fact I believe that they are a waste of time.


I must say that I do envy the zeal of some who go about trying to convince people who already know about God, Jesus, the Bible and the whole works... expecting them to spontaneously forsake all the extremely addictive, wholly consuming and borderline destructive pleasures that they derive from their hedonistic pursuits which they are by no means willing to stop. Actually, the best you can do is pray.


Or of course you could become a divinely self-appointed hammer of God, and then use force to make the people tow.


That brings to mind our brothers at Benson and Hedges, north wing (BH) who have a fetish for watching things explode. At least, they're "enforcing the ideals" (Their own warped idea of said ideals, anyway)


Judgement Day is going to be funny.

***in confused voice*** "Ahn Ahn? Where the virgins dey nah?"


However, if the person the sermon is intended for has no idea about the existence of a supreme God and his laws for the orderly conduct of mankind (in other words, if the person cannot count properly without using fingers as a placeholder and perhaps still sucks his thumb) then that is another matter.


So, fellas. Let's break here


**pops open a can of malt and sips** **engulfed in frothy perpetual belching** *gasps for breath*


The summary of it is that life is to be lived. Aptly or unshrewdly, it is still to be lived.


The code of positive values that you live by... remain true to them! If you sincerely do the things you do, you ought not to seek the approval of the masses, and least of all their encouragement. Seeking to please everyone with how you live your life is indeed a most efficient way to dig your own grave.


Or if you wish, remain true to negative values. Whatever floats your boat. It's a "free" world.



Disciplined people have always lasted the test of time, no matter how the world and its creatures both pleasant and vile seek to dissuade or ridicule them. With this knowledge, and with the guidance of the celestial powers that be, with any luck you will not be so much set about seeking for a purpose, as much as you would be about actually living one

This post was written by anakadrian

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